airbnb review - St. Louis 12.19.19

I’m only staying here because the friends I surprised Melissa with needed somewhere to stay. You’re actually right down the block from me, so this tour guide is going to be more for your other visitors than it is for you.

Monday nights in Tower Grove you can catch shifty aspirants doing improv screamo down at CBJB on Grand, even though they don’t have a stage. Their bathroom’s toilets face each other with a table between them in case you want to shit and play chess. Only downside is it’s a cash bar, so if you want a can you gotta eat the atm fee while someone plays Pac-Man next to you.

With a fistfull of cash you can Uber to Venice Cafe and head up the mosaicmirrored stairs where the bartender will let you feed the snake if you tip her in live mice. After watching nature do what nature does you can turn around and cleanse your palate by watching through some sort of chicken ring cage down onto whatever blues band has occupied the area on the first floor. The shattered tile mosaic style of the floor and walls matches the mismatched furniture and the swingers that frequently occupy them.

If you hit Local Harvest Grocery at just the right time you can slide to the back of a line of students being led on an environmentalism tour by some kitschy adjunct professor from Maryville University.

Jury duty means lunch breaks electric-scootering to the comic shop downtown to peruse the next compendium you’ll try out, but never buy, not when you can pirate it, because fuck the man even though you’re grateful others pay taxes.

Thursday nights are better. The incubator shadowed by IKEA hosts a weekly meetup for entrepreneurs and venture capitalists, and the beer is always free. It’s a good place to go to drink cheap, maybe talk to some healthcare startup CEO about data siloing and the delusion of a single payer system once a little liquid luck hits your belly.

The city is chock-full of the handful of examples I’ve provided, but my point is this: Spice up your listing because this city is cool as fuck.