Wich Generation
The worst thing since sliced bread was this generation. They cared for their children and parents simultaneously. Some companies provided care for kids, but most wouldn’t for gere’s. The investment of elder care was a harder sell than was corporate social responsibility. Where was the money in caring for the old? There wasn’t.
The Silent Slaver
Long ago, falling stones ground grain to flour during a storm, creating the world’s first loaf. Foragers came upon the miracle, tore it open, and slapped some meat inside. Viola! Enchanted by wheat’s spell, foragers everywhere settled to spread it across the earth. It domesticated man, and it made sure we never left.
Contempory Soylant
Food needed soil, but the soil was almost gone. Then, along came the coronavirus, prematurely retiring the twenty million entering Medicare in the next five years. To save the survivors, we, heads bowed, spread the collective cremains across all farmlands, and the lost lived on through us. They called it the Soilent Seam.
Postcards from the ‘80s
Patrick Sherrill popularized the phrase ‘Going postal,’ when he killed fifteen fellow mailmen in Edmond, Oklahoma in 1986, coincidentally synonymous with the term ‘86’d’ which describes getting rid of someone. It means becoming violently angry in a workplace, something you can both make happen (going postal) or let happen to you (getting ‘86-ed).
Pulling teeth
Whether it came for her or her teeth, the fairy, now unconscious, twitched bedside. Her parents stormed in, absorbing the scene. Their daughter, her bat cocked for another swing. The fairy, its toothy loot scattered across the floor. And me, shaking under the bed, pocketing teeth, not remembering this from new hire orientation.
No House Pet
I got a new gnu named Newt. He’s in the backyard trying to jump the fence, so I leashed him. He pulled the leash anchor free and it’s ripping up my rose garden. That was new, too. Everything’s new because I moved from New Mexico, where gnus are illegal. Now I know why.